Change
Title: Change
Fandom: Law and Order SVU
Pairing: Alex Cabot/Liz Donnelly, Liz Donnelly/Casey Novak, Liz/Casey/Alex
Rating: NC-17 for mature themes
Summary: Alex discovers just what has and has not changed
Disclaimer: SVU belongs to Dick Wolf and NBC.
A/N: Though there are no direct spoilers, this piece references events in episodes 9.19 "Cold" and 10.15 "Lead."

Alex took a deep breath and the red numbers blurred as the elevator climbed. Her keycard no longer worked, but she had expected as much. It might have been enough to make her turn around—it should have, at least. The doorman did not recognize her, and she was not sure what possessed her to ask him to call up to Liz. Perhaps it was because she knew the judge would not be there so early in the evening.

She had been wrong. Alex flinched when the elevator chimed; she stared at the lighted “P1,” the lower level of the penthouse—the Club. As the doors opened onto the familiar foyer, she felt distinctly underdressed in the suit she had worn to court that day.

“Are you just going to stand in the elevator, Alex?”

Liz was reclining easily against one of the twisted sculptures that adorned the entrance to the Club. She seemed different to Alex, somehow softer and out of place against the wrought iron. But the sound of Alex’s own heals on the marble floor seemed even more alien than that.

“I didn’t expect you to be here.” Alex’s voice was uncharacteristically soft.

Liz pushed away from her perch; her lips were set in that way Alex had seen hundreds of times. She did not need to ask what her former boss, her former lover was thinking. She knew she was being appraised in that moment, and she found herself bearing it just as she used to—with a haughty dignity.

The older woman crossed her arms and tilted her chin up. “Then why did you ask for me?”

Alex shifted the weight of her purse on her shoulder. It felt strange having it; it felt strange talking there—on the cusp of being back inside the Club. She pursed her lips, knowing she was not being asked for an answer, as Liz began to circle her.

“It’s been three years, Alexandra, yet you still managed to pick the day I have always set aside to spend time on new applications and other matters. How,” Liz said as she stopped in front of the taller blonde, “coincidental.”

Even after so long, Alex’s body reacted immediately to the sound of Liz’s voice, the look in her eyes. She crossed her arms over her stiffening nipples and shifted. “I suppose I needn’t tell you that it slipped my mind.”

Liz chuckled, her eyes flicking from Alex’s face to her chest and back. “No.”

Alex opened her mouth to speak, but she was silenced by the sound of one of the heavy doors opening. Liz did not turn, and her eyes sparkled with amusement at the way Alex’s face lifted in surprise.

“Casey...” she managed. The redhead was leaning against the door, bare feet half hidden by ragged jeans that dragged the floor.

“Alex,” Casey replied. There was a hint of something n her voice, in her manner—it was something that Alex had not seen the last time they met. But it was a self-assuredness, an easy, mocking confidence that she recognized as common to those walls.

It had slipped her mind—or had it, really? Alex never imagined Liz would involve Casey in the Club. She never imagined that the two would stay together in the first place. Her cheeks pinked, much, it seemed, to Liz’s delight, but she straightened herself, standing taller.

“This isn’t the proper place for this conversation, I think.” Casey smiled. “And I’m sure you and Liz have quite a bit to talk about.”

Liz shifted her hands to her hips. “Casey is right. Do come inside, Alexandra.” She smirked just slightly in that way that irritated Alex to no end. “You look like you could use a drink.”

*****

The bar was empty, but Liz knew beyond the soundproof walls, the kitchen staff was preparing for the evening. The room had its own air of anticipation, though; Liz’s gaze swept over the carpets and chairs, the antique tables and the paneling that spoke to a different time, and she was overwhelmed with the feeling, as she often was in moments like this, that the room was never meant to be empty.

Casey rounded the bar; she was a fraction of its age, and Liz could only imagine what Therese would say about her rummaging for glasses and bottles on her bluejeaned knees. But she did not mind; she had come to love peeling those jeans off of Casey’s pretty legs.

“Do sit down.” Liz draped herself across a high-backed leather chair. She was pleased to see how Alex waited for her command. And she could not say that she was surprised that the training stuck, despite everything Alex had been through.

She watched Alex let her purse slide to the floor as she sat tall, almost regal, across from Liz. That Casey was there made her tense, Liz could see as much. It intrigued her to see her former pet that way. When last they met, Alex had been as haughty, as self-assured as ever. But that was still there, even though she was warily watching Casey pad towards them with two glasses of scotch.

Alex accepted her glass, and Liz watched her eye Casey as the redhead perched on the arm of Liz’s chair.

“Well,” Alex began, crossing her legs, settling into a semblance of comfort, “she seems quite well trained despite all appearances to the contrary.”

Liz’s face remained calm when Casey laughed. She wrapped her arm around the younger woman’s hips indulgently, keeping her eyes fixed on Alex’s face as the blonde tried to hide her reaction.

“Maybe you’ve gotten soft since I left.” Liz thought she detected a sullen note in Alex’s voice, but she merely smiled.

If truth be told, Casey had softened her somewhat. She adapted to her lover’s needs, especially when Casey had taken a keen interest in the club. It had been a blessing in disguise after Casey’s career ground to a halt, a blessing for both their relationship and Casey’s attitude. When she least expected it, Liz found herself learning things all over again with Casey. And she was willing to indulge a bit more.

Now, she watched Casey smile easily, an almost devil-may-care expression that was bound to goad Alex into something. “Would you care to find out?” she challenged.

Liz was smiling calmly, but she was not about to let Alex answer. “Think about it, Alexandra.” She drained her glass and rose, content to see both Casey and Alex standing quickly with her. “Now is not the time for any hasty decisions.”

She watched Alex purse her lips—the only outward expression of frustration from the other woman. Alex shouldered her bag and with it some semblance of her composure.

“It was good to see you, Liz.” She nodded curtly. “Casey.”

Liz returned the nod, but Alex had already turned on her heel, knowing she had been dismissed. She crossed her arms as Casey flopped into one of the more plush leather chairs.

“You didn’t want her to stay?”

The older woman chuckled lightly. “She’ll be back.” Liz perched on the arm of Casey’s chair and fondly ran her fingers through the redhead’s hair. “I’m actually surprised you wanted her too.”

Casey merely shrugged. It was a gesture that Liz had come to tolerate even though she detested it. “If you want one more night with Alex Cabot, I’m not going to stop you.” She paused, looking up at Liz with harder eyes than nine months before. “I just want to be there.”

Liz lifted her eyebrows airily. There was no trace of insecurity in Casey, but there had not been in months—not since Casey declared that since she had nothing better to do, she might as well take advantage of Liz’s part ownership in the Club. It worried Liz, to a degree, but she knew her partner was working things out on her own. She slipped into her role easily but not without caution.

“Very well. But there will be rules, Casey.”

“I don’t have any sort of vendetta against Alex Cabot. She did her job, and I did mine. I’m just...curious.” A smirk flashed across her face as she leaned up, her lips quickly meeting Liz’s in what was certainly meant to be a peck.

Liz, however, caught Casey’s chin and deepened the kiss—just a small reminder.

*****

Casey moaned with uncharacteristic abandon as Liz brought the paddle done on the backs of her thighs one last time.

“Twenty-five,” she managed breathlessly, a ghost of a smile on her lips. She stretched, standing on tiptoe with her chest still flush against the soft bedspread. She shivered and relaxed when she felt Liz’s cool fingertips on her pulsing bottom.

“Mm, you enjoy that too much.” Casey grinned and arched her back as Liz ran her palms firmly up her sides.

Casey propped herself on her elbows. “I was as pert as you needed me to be today.”

She could hear Liz chuckling above the rustle of her blouse as she slipped it off. Casey looked over her shoulder, smiling and unsurprised to see Liz’s expression mirroring her own.

“Perhaps.”

Casey pushed off of the bed when Liz crooked her finger. She wrapped her arms around the older woman’s neck, leaning in for a kiss before pulling away to finish undressing her. She did not fold Liz’s clothes; she never did. Instead, she focused her long fingers on Liz’s skin, walking them down from the hollows of the blonde’s collarbones to the curves of the undersides of her breasts.

Her thumbs caught Liz’s nipples, as if by mistake, and she let out a sigh of contentment at the still exciting familiarity as they stiffened. Liz’s eyes fluttered closed, leaving Casey to resist the urge to kiss the slightly purpled lids.

“Do you really think she will come back?” Casey murmured, lips against the soft skin underneath one of Liz’s ears.

She felt Liz’s breath on her shoulder. “I know she will.”

Casey grasped Liz’s hips, pulling her forward to the bed. The comforter was cool against her still warm legs, but Casey turned on her side, pulling Liz underneath her, straddling her lover deftly. Liz was tired, she knew, so Casey did not say anything more.

Instead, she kissed down Liz’s chest, stopping to nip each nipple lightly but quickly moving downward at a lazy enough pace. She trailed her fingers along Liz’s thighs, parting them only to begin kissing inside of them. But when she felt the older woman’s hand come to rest on her head, she centered her attention on Liz’s already wet lips, kissing them before pressing her tongue inside.

Stretching her arms upwards, fingers searching for Liz’s nipples, Casey pushed her tongue upwards, savoring Liz’s taste and focusing her attentions on the other woman’s clit. She circled it firmly with her tongue; there would be another time for teasing. And she kept at it, lazily and almost sleepily intent with Liz’s fingers curling into her hair. Casey ran her fingers down Liz’s side, across her thigh.

She pressed her tongue tightly against Liz’s clit, nipping it lightly as she pushed two fingers inside of Liz, sighing at the warmth and wetness. And when she curled them back towards herself, she felt Liz tighten and shudder through her climax.

“Mm.” Liz raked her fingers through Casey’s hair, and the redhead carelessly flopped beside her, ignoring her own wetness.

“You should get some sleep.” She grinned against Liz’s shoulder. “I’m pretty sure Alex Cabot is going to take an inordinate amount of energy.”

She kissed Liz’s shoulder and moved to pull back the covers, letting Liz crawl under them as she reached for the light. When she heard Liz’s breath grow heavy with the darkness, Casey spread her legs and pushed her long fingers between them, sighing softly.

*****

There was a new keycard waiting for her, and Alex knew she should not have been surprised. This time, she paid no mind to the sounds of the elevator, and handing her coat off to one of the shadowy figures that greeted her in the foyer came as naturally as if she had never left.

She had almost stayed home. But more than Liz’s unspoken challenge, it was the memory of Casey Novak’s mocking smile that brought Alex back. She walked through the heavy doors as if she had never left; this was, after all, the only aspect of her life that was untouched by the bullet. Without realizing it, she briefly touched the scar.

It was, irritatingly enough, as if Liz had been expecting her. When Alex entered the bar, the older woman did not approach, did not stop playing the hostess for a moment. And to her surprise, Casey, full clothed and this time shod, approached her.
“I’m sure you remember where Liz’s chambers are.” There was no trace of the smile on her face, but Alex could hear it in the younger woman’s voice.

She lifted her chin in protest, but a silent nod from Liz in her direction confirmed the unspoken order. Alex turned away from Casey silently; she could feel Liz’s eyes on her back as she left the room. Others might have been staring, but Liz’s gaze was the only one that mattered. She could scarcely shake it even as she climbed the ornate staircase, taking the familiar and very public path to Liz’s suite.

The first thing that struck her was a bag and a jacket, both carelessly tossed into a chair. The suite looked much the same, but those two things—Casey’s, she presumed—were enough to make Alex feel out of place. She undressed without entering the bedroom, and she laid her neatly folded clothes on the table before kneeling just inside the door.

Alex had forgotten what it felt like to wait. Her muscles trembled to hold her back erect, to keep her from failure before she had really begun again. She knew the moment Liz walked in that the strain was showing on her face.

“Casey seemed to think you wouldn’t come.”

She kept her eyes on the floor and her mouth shut. Her limbs might have been aching, but Alex had not forgotten herself. She could see Casey slipping out of her shoes and carelessly pushing them aside.

“That’s not exactly how I put it,” Casey retorted. Alex could not see the wordless exchange between them, but the subtle shifts in their bodies told her that there was one.

She felt Liz’s fingertips under her chin, urging her to stand, and Alex did so, trying to ignore the pain in her tingling legs. Liz circled her, fingers skimming the small of her back so lightly that Alex could not suppress a shiver. She had not felt so naked in the three years she had been back.

“Help Casey undress.”

Alex drew in an almost imperceptible breath of surprise, but she began with the buttons of Casey’s blouse without hesitation. She kept her eyes on her hands as she slipped the shirt from the redhead’s shoulders and began to fold it neatly, placing it on the table by her own pile of clothing.

When she unhooked the other woman’s bra, Alex noticed how the muscles in Casey’s back rippled as she slipped it off of her arms, letting it fall to her feet. The blonde stooped gracefully to pick it up. She vaguely remembered that Casey played softball, but all she could imagine was the power those shoulders would put behind a whip. Something about the mental image seemed wrong, though, and she finished undressing Casey quickly after dismissing it from her thoughts.

“Casey.” Liz’s voice was quiet, and Alex stepped back, clasping her hands behind her back.

She felt a pang of jealousy when she heard the rustling of Liz’s clothing as Casey undressed her. Alex did not watch, knowing she would be admonished for staring. She kept her eyes lowered, lashes obscuring the sight of Casey’s long legs. She could see, however, each piece of clothing as Casey tossed it carelessly over the back of a chair.

*****

Liz looked from Casey to Alex, noting how Casey’s eyes followed her and how Alex’s remained down turned. She was not surprised that the training had held so well; she had done it herself, after all. With Casey, though, it was different. Four, maybe five years before, Liz would have subjected her to whippings. But now she took as much pleasure in indulging Casey as she had in depriving Alex.

She smiled at the thought, the memories. Alex had always been possessed of a certain grace—not the fluidity of a dancer or the lazy sprawl of a cat. It was a raw, haughty strength, and she was glad to see some of that still in the rigid curve of Alex’s shoulders. Liz stepped behind her and ran her palms firmly up Alex’s back, satisfied to feel the other woman shiver.

“Tell me, Alexandra, why did you come back?” She leaned forward, lips brushing the back of Alex’s ear. “Was it jealousy, mm?” Liz ran her hands back down Alex’s sides and slid them around her hips, resting them on the slender bones. “Perhaps,” she taunted, slipping her hands down, fingers pushing between Alex’s lips and delighting in the wetness there. “Perhaps you felt the need to prove yourself.”

Liz pressed her chest to Alex’s back, feeling the younger woman take a jagged breath and tighten her muscles. “I finished proving myself to you a long time ago.”

“Oh, not to me, Alexandra.” Liz chuckled darkly, her gaze drifting to Casey, whose lips were wet and swollen, whose eyes were fixed on the two of them. She felt Alex’s body stiffen almost unbearably, and she was not surprised when Alex lifted her chin. “Was there something you wanted to say?” She kept her fingers just inside Alex’s lips, waiting there without pushing inside.

“N-no.” Alex’s voice cracked, whether from her throat simply being dry or something else, Liz could not say.

Liz pressed her fingers forward, just slightly. The tips were slick. “No?” she said coaxingly.

Alex set her jaw, pursing her lips as she stared forward. Liz could see her cold blue eyes reflected in Casey’s. “No.”

“Good.” Liz pushed two fingers inside of Alex mercilessly. She needed to know that her former pet would not break, that at least that part of Alex had not changed.

Liz met Casey’s eyes as she pumped her fingers in and out of Alex. She smiled to see Casey flushed and licking her lips. Even though Casey had taken an interest in the Club, she had never been involved in anything like this. Liz remained monogamous, serving in a supervisory role—setting up scenes making sure the rules were followed... Seeing Liz with another woman was entirely new to her, and Liz knew Casey was unused to watching while Liz’s attention was directed elsewhere in the bedroom.

The rise and fall of Alex’s chest was as rhythmic and quick as her jagged breath. Liz slipped a third finger inside, her own arm tired from the position. She pressed on, though, ignoring the way Alex pushed her hips forward. She knew the blonde would not come without her permission.

When she stopped abruptly, she could hear Alex swallow a whimper of protest. Liz nipped at Alex’s earlobe. “Go into the bedroom,” she commanded, voice smoky.

She watched Alex curl her fingers into fists, steadying herself before walking out of the room. Then she turned her attention to Casey.

*****

Casey’s mouth had gone dry watching, and she realized she was pressing her thighs tightly together. Her eyes had been locked with Alex’s the entire time; she was riveted by the blonde’s struggle to maintain balance while her body betrayed just how much she enjoyed the situation.

She knew precisely how much she would have squirmed, moaned. And now, face to face with Liz, Casey found herself unable to move no matter how much she wanted to. She blinked as the older blonde sauntered towards her.

“You wanted to be present,” Liz purred, holding her fingers to Casey’s lips.

Casey took Liz’s fingers into her mouth without hesitation. She closed her eyes at the taste—the mild, tart taste—of Alex Cabot. Liz pulled her hand away, replacing it with her lips, her tongue, and Casey thought she might lose herself in that kiss. The taste of Alex still on her tongue mixed with Liz’s warm, wet mouth, with the barest hint of scotch.

“Mm,” she murmured, pulling away from Liz. “I thought she would fall apart.”

Liz chuckled as she tweaked Casey’s nipples. “Would you?”

Casey drew herself together, standing taller but somehow still feeling that she was looking up to Liz. By her lover’s smile, she realized it was precisely the reaction Liz had anticipated, but she could not stop herself.

“Come to the bedroom,” Liz said, pulling away.

She watched Liz’s scarred back retreating from her, and for a moment, she wondered how well Alex’s fingertips knew those scars. Casey stretched her own fingers as if in response to her own thought. She cracked her knuckles before following Liz.

*****

Alex knelt at the foot of the bed. There was a time when she would have known what to expect, but that had changed. She realized she had expected Liz to be the same—the Club was, after all. But Liz was not the Club, and Alex had a feeling that there would be no whippings in store for her that night.

She felt tired with anticipation.

“Stand.” She had scarcely seen Liz come into the room when the older woman issued the command. Alex did as she was told, finding herself face to face with Casey again.

Liz had walked away, leaving her to study the redhead. Casey’s nipples were as swollen as her lips. It was clear that she wanted to touch and to be touched, clear that she wanted all of the pleasure that the situation had to offer. But it was also apparent that she was just as off balance as Alex felt, just as unsure of what was to come next.

When Liz returned, she had a harnessed dildo hanging from her index finger. She held it between them, the silicon catching the light. But when Alex looked at her questioningly, Casey lunched for it, grasping it and pulling it away from Liz just as Alex began to react.

Alex’s eyes darted between the two women, Casey strapping the harness to her hips while Liz merely smirked. The element of playfulness was alien to her, and she shifted uncomfortably. But just as Alex was grasping for her composure again, Liz kissed her, grasping the back of her neck with her long, now cool fingers. And almost as soon as Liz pulled away, Alex felt herself being pushed, face first, over the edge of the bed.

She was surprised at the clarity of Casey’s moan in contrast to her breathless silence as she felt the dildo push into her pussy. It seemed like it had been so long; Alex felt unbearably tight. But Casey was still.

“If you can make her moan,” she heard Liz say, “I will let you come.”

Alex bit the insides of her cheeks as Casey began with long, slow strokes. She grasped the comforter, twisting it in her fists, and underneath Casey’s on moans, she heard Liz’s soft laughter.

*****

Liz was content to watch for a while. Casey was taking her time, enjoying herself, and it was beautiful to watch Casey’s muscles stretching and Alex’s face reddening. But she knew the look on Casey’s face as the redhead closed her eyes, pushing into Alex more quickly and with more abandon. Liz placed a firm hand on the small of Casey’s back, but the younger woman seemed to ignore it.

Pursing her lips, Liz grasped Casey’s hips firmly, eliciting a sound of frustration from her. She forced Casey to pull out of Alex and replaced the dildo with her fingers. Alex gasped, fingers digging more desperately into the comforter. Casey was panting, and Liz pulled her fingers, now slick and glistening out of Alex. She pushed Casey’s hips forward insistently, letting her begin again.

After kissing Casey’s shoulder, Liz carefully began to press one of her wet fingers into Casey’s anus, making the redhead moan loudly and become still.

“Do continue,” Liz said.

Each time Casey pulled out of Alex, she pushed herself more firmly on Liz’s finger, and after a time, Liz added another. She could feel how close Casey was, could sense her frustration in the way her thrusts became erratic. And underneath them, Alex was trembling.

*****

Casey strained against the deep thrusts of Liz’s fingers and the way the base of the dildo pressed into her clit with each thrust forward. She ground her teeth together, trying to swallow her moans, trying to listen to any sound from Alex.

And when she heard it—the smallest hint of a whimper muffled by the comforter—Casey pressed forward as hard as she could, her orgasm already making her legs weak. She barely felt Alex shuddering underneath her. But in the silence, the stillness that followed, she felt Liz pull away and heard her walk away, heard her washing her hands. Casey shivered at the thought of how cool they would feel on her back when Alex was so warm underneath her.

*****

“Turn down the covers.”

Alex was not sure if the command was meant for Casey or for her. But both women moved to either side of the bed, obeying silently. She could see that Casey’s pale skin was still flushed prettily, and her own heart was still pounding.

When the bed was ready, Alex stood back, but she found that she was unable to look away as Liz unhooked the harness, letting it and the dildo fall from Casey’s hips. She watched them crawl into bed together with comfortable familiarity. Her chest tightened.

“Alexandra.” Liz, Casey stretched catlike at her side, beckoned Alex into bed, and she obeyed without hesitation. “Mm.”

She felt Liz’s long fingers in her hair, pushing her head gently downward as she pulled the covers back. Alex remembered her taste, and she found herself lapping eagerly at Liz’s clit when she realized that much had not changed.

Alex knew she would walk away, leaving Liz dozing in Casey’s arms. She knew she might never taste Liz again. But she focused on that moment, on Liz’s taste, on the way her body would shudder and release. Everything else was ahead of her.